Valentines Day

I know that there are many couples in this world. I also know there are many single people. Between the two, you can figure a good chunk claim they don't care about Valentines Day. However, the smart money is on them lying.

So, if you do secretly care about Valentines day, I have the solution where you can get all the fun/misery of Valentines day done in minutes!

Step One: Acquire currency.
The more bills you have, the longer the celebration will last. But If you want to be absolutely realistic, get a $100 bill.

Step Two: Acquire fire.
Lighters are plentiful in this world. If you don't have one, buy one from a gas station, or borrow a smokers, or chances are you can even find one laying on the street. (1 to 100 odds on this one). If you have to purchase a lighter, do not use your celebratory $100 bill.

Step Three: Carefully set fire to the currency.
I say carefully, because if you happen to consume more than 51% of the bill, it is gone. Forever. If you can keep 51% of the bill identifiable, you can mail it into the treasury and they will mail you a brand new bill! This effectively gives you the feeling of losing a lot of money for no really smart or valid reason, without the actual doom that would be visited upon you shortly after the Valentines day smoke clears.

Step Four: Be glad for where you are in your life.

If you are single: Be thankful you don't have anyone to belittle you for setting money on fire.
If you are in a relationship (and still are after the fact): Be thankful you have a partner who is willing to tolerate your shenanigans.
If you end up breaking up: Be thankful you got away from someone who has no appreciation for art and/or symbolism.
If you didn't end up doing this, have a good laugh imagining above situations playing out.

Peace, Love, and Sock Puppets.