Again

Set match to gas again,
To clear it up again,
Strike a spark again,
To watch it die again.

It's dark again,
I'm cold again,
Echos again,
Repeating again,
So sublime again,
The message's lost,
Again.

Where did it begin again?

How do we keep score again?
Are we really messuring by THIS standard again?

Crashed your car again,
Lost your love again,
"Just a metaphor," again. 

Four Oh Four again,
Time to maintain again,
Spin and balance the tires again,

Schedule a visit again,
To tell the story again,
Hear the advice again,
Transform again,
Be well again,
If only for a while,
Again.

Write it again,
Recite it again,
Revise it again,
Forget it again.

I see
Slow break again.
I am
Damaged again.
I feel
Forgotten again.
I have
Isolation again.
I fear
Abandoned again
I act
Indifferent again.

Written for fun, again.
Expression, again.
Reality is different, again.
Words are filtered, again.
To this medium, again.

Catch 22

If I say I'm alright, when I'm not, people will worry less.

If I say I'm not alright, when I'm not, people will worry and want to help.

Then, I don't know how to be helped. So they worry and offer as much help as they would have if I was "alright."

If I can't be helped by anyone but myself, why ask for help?
If I can't help myself, asking for help is useless because I don't know how to be helped.

I fade away, because people let me.
I fade away, because if I can't be helped, I don't want to be a buzz-kill at the party.
I fade away, because I say I'm alright, but can't figure out how to be helped, even if I told people I wasn't alright, and needed help.

Depression sucks.