Apologies I

I'm sorry I fooled myself into thinking I loved you.
I'm sorry for breaking your heart by falling for someone else.
I'm sorry for changing and growing as a human being.

I'm sorry I couldn't live up to your standards, expectations, or fantasies.
I'm sorry I numbed you to the point you had to hurt yourself to feel anything.
I'm sorry I tried to live up to your expectations, only to fall from tiredness.
I'm sorry you had to blame everything on me.

I'm sorry I actually loved you.
I'm sorry I actually cared.
I'm sorry I criticized when you asked for my honesty.
I'm sorry you didn't want to hear my opinion.
I'm sorry I let you think I didn't love you.

I'm sorry I was desperate for attention.
I'm sorry I was just a one night fling.
I'm sorry I reacted badly.
I'm sorry I'm a better person now.
I'm sorry you don't recognize me.

I'm sorry I let you fall in a pit.
I'm sorry I let you pull me in after you.
I'm sorry you believed I was wonderful.
I'm sorry you hated my friends.
I'm sorry I wouldn't tolerate the abuse any longer.
I'm sorry I let you let yourself think you could love again.

I'm sorry but I was drunk.
I'm sorry that it didn't fade faster.
I'm sorry I'm interesting to you.
I'm sorry I was hurt when I learned I was just another mark on the wall.
I'm sorry I never thought of us as more than friends with benefits.
I'm sorry I left at the wrong time.
I'm sorry I need my own space.

I'm sorry I can spot a train-wreck.
That's just waiting to happen.
I'm sorry I didn't text you back
But then again I had my reasons
I'm sorry I can think of better things to do than spend a night,
With drunken people, who I hardly know.
I'm sorry I can think of better people to spend my time with,
To whom I'm more than a friend of convenience.
I'm sorry your priorities are pussy, alcohol,
Then "friends" then me.
I'm sorry I'm not blind enough to stay around
When it's clear, if I do, it just might kill me.
I'm sorry I pity you
Because I've lost all respect
I'm sorry I can't care anymore,
Let it be my final regret.

Because I'm not sorry anymore.

The Fool Caught In The Hurricane

I see the wind blowing around me
But it doesn't feel that strong to me
I hear the howling and screams
But it doesn't feel that strong to me
I taste the dust in the air
But it doesn't feel that strong to me
I smell the smoke of burning fires
But it doesn't feel that strong to me

I wonder if I caused this
But I don't feel that strong to me
I wonder if I could have prevented this
But I don't feel that strong to me
I wonder if I could help
But I don't feel that strong to me

I wonder if those around me
See it sharper than I
I wonder if those around me
Feel it stronger than I
I wonder if those around me
Smell it sharper than I
I wonder if those around me
Taste it strong than I
I wonder if those around me
Feel it more than me

But I still have to say
It doesn't feel that strong to me...