Have you ever had someone fear you? Not because you were necessarily a scary person, but just because you reminded them of someone they knew, or thought they knew? Was it because you had similar tastes, or was it the fact you are, no matter how hard you try to fool yourself, only human? Did it ever make you angry when they tried to change you, help you with your problems, when they couldn't even admit they ever had any problems in the first place?
Have you ever lost what you thought was everything, only to find to your horror, that you were still breathing? And then found out you still had something left. Not much, but something. Then, did you find that something betrayed you; vanished, faded, and broke? And yet, you still keep on breathing.
Have you ever found out the truth of a situation, and found that you were screwed no matter what you did? You'd be cast as a villain in eyes, of people who cared about you, no matter, what, you did? Did you find that a decision would be made with or without you, and the blame would still fall upon you? Did you find that doing nothing, was the best thing to do?
Have you ever been vilified for being honest? Were you honest because you thought you were helping? Did you feel guilty for not saying anything about anything sooner? Were you afraid that everything you ever felt for a certain person was gone, and that part of you might have been using them? Ever been vilified for being too nice, when you were so scared it was all lost?
Have you ever been afraid to let go of someone, because you thought they would disappear all together? What if you were afraid that you would forget everything? How about being isolated and alone even more that you were before...
Have you ever felt undervalued? By people who have self esteem issues, and can only seem to let go of themselves enough when the get drunk? How about finding out they want to use your friendship to take from people who have more than they do? What if you do not want to be used for profit?
Have you ever discovered the truth again? Finding that, after all this time, you are still the villain, you are still at fault, you are still the social retard that needs directions on what to do? Have you ever recognized how insecure everyone around you is? Have you ever recognized how people cope with their insecurity? One-up, when i was young, my daddy could throw your daddy over the moon, when in France, at my distant cousins mountain mansion, what a lovely day for a wedding, which is definitely better than staying in America, as a matter of fact, the physics behind it is quite simple and useful, congress is staffed by retards, North Korea are highly intelligent but unguided, you want to use a high speed flash and a color gel, now I've just got to sign up for classes, that reminds me of a story when I was in the Marines, just stop me from killing someone I love.
Have you ever had 2 trusts broken with one stone? Did you pretend nothing changed, while letting everything that could have been so beautiful, wither and rot? Are you still glad you did it after so much isolation?
Have you ever tried to shine so brightly, only to find the blind only have eyes for the train-wreck?
Have you ever slipped your mind long enough for someone to get close, use you, and slip away?
Have you ever listened to someone say one thing, and then watched them do something else? How many times have you watched this happen? How many time have they fallen, and how many times do they just do it again? How long until they realize, for the longest time, you have been there for them?
Have you ever suffered in silence, because it was the right thing to do?
Have you ever, had to stop, and let yourself recover from the rusty scars the world has left upon your heart? Are you too busy keeping the wounds fresh, to clean them so they can heal, at long last?
End Part 1...
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